Part 4: God’s Past Chapter 21 When God Was Alone

Part 4: God’s Past

Chapter 21

When God Was Alone

Day Six, Sundown

It didn’t make any sense. There it was in front of me. It was possible. But who could comprehend it? So I asked God, “How is it possible, for the man or the woman, or any of their future children, to not want to obey you?!”

“May it never be!” God said, gazing upon our fallen brothers. Our gaze followed His. We were ashamed that, though their fall was so recent, yet we were already able to forget what had happened. No, I shouldn’t say we forgot. We never comprehended it in the first place. We still cannot comprehend the terrible state actually chosen by our fallen brethren, and so it only follows that we still cannot comprehend any possibility that the man and woman might actually choose to suspect God rather than trust and obey.

“I want to tell you why I created consciousness.”

The story title electrified the Host! This was the promised answer to a question it had never occurred to any of us to ask, and yet once promised, became the most burning question outside of Hell itself!

It was dark now on the Earth, and something instinctively inside us made us want to snuggle down with happy anticipation to hear what promised to be a long, fascinating adventure.

“I want to explain what it was like before I created you. I want to explain what it was like when I was alone.”

When God Was Alone

OK, God had our attention! God was offering to answer another question it had never occurred to me to ask, but now that I had heard the question, I just had to know the answer! I “couldn’t” wait! An impatience welled up within me that I had never before experienced, whose effect upon my body was to make it shut up and listen. My ears even seemed to lean forward in the hope of hearing the story a little sooner than if they were a few lovatons farther back.

“I want you to understand the nature of consciousness, and loneliness, and love, and evil.”

But, but, how could such wildly unrelated conditions be combined into a single story? It seemed impossible, yet God was saying it was not only possible but its explanation was imminent. All of us were incredulous, yet curious. A new word was created that night: we were all “intrigued”.

“I was happy even before I created you. Even when I was alone, there was much to do, much to explore, much to learn, much to enjoy. I studied many possibilities, created many substances, created many worlds from them, performed many experiments.

“I should explain the difference between those ‘worlds’ and the ones you know. They were composed out of my Breath, just like the worlds you know.

“I formed them from different matter than the Lovatons of which your bodies are composed, or the Atoms of which the present physical universe is composed. But that is not what most distinguished those worlds from these.

“You could say those worlds existed ‘only’ in my ‘imagination’. The process was like physical birth, where a seed from outside is introduced into a womb where processes native to the womb act upon it to cause it to grow until it is ‘finished’, or ready to leave the womb and continue its growth in the environment for which it was prepared.

“In the same manner, I introduced the Seed, a Vision, a Possibility, into the Womb of my Imagination, where it was nourished by the ‘blood’ of Wisdom and Concentration, causing it to grow and take form. When the World was just the way I wanted it, I released it from the grip of my Imagination and let it Exist.

Souls give Worlds their Purpose

“The essential difference between those worlds and these was that those had little reason to exist outside the Womb of my imagination. They did not feed me, or entertain me, or provide me any necessities. Their usefulness to me was in what I could learn by creating them; once created, their purpose was ended. In other words, they were useful to me while they were in the ‘womb’ of my imagination, and my concentration and Wisdom was busy perfecting and completing them. After they no longer engaged my concentration, their purpose was ended. So although they ‘existed’, their actual ‘existence’ was of less interest than their formation.

“Not that I hated them. I still look back upon many of them with affection. But they belong to the past. The difference between the past and the present is that while the past is good to remember and learn from, the present is where work is done and relationships built.

“But the universe before you is the opposite: its continued existence serves a greater purpose than its formation.

“The reason for this difference, of course, is that before I created you, I had never created souls. With other souls besides my own, worlds and universes have a reason to exist. They serve the needs and desires of the souls for which I created them.

That is why the universe you see before you, which I created over the past six Days, is the first nonliving thing I have ever created which has a reason to exist. The souls I created, that is, you, Adam, and his wife, nourish me: you feed my hunger for fellowship with kindred Consciousness. But even if you did not, you have Consciousness like I do, so things derive their reason to exist by whether they serve your needs, as well as whether they serve Mine.”

VerseScout: Luke 6:40 The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master.

Matthew 10: 24 The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord. 25 It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord.

Genesis 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

“Oh, I created ‘life’ before. But of course ‘life’ is relative. The heat from a Sun beating upon a dead cold rock is interaction. A plant which takes creative steps to maintain its own existence is a greater degree of life. An animal with the capacity to feel emotions, and to be conscious of its own life and health, and with complicated programming enabling it to perform intelligent tasks, is yet more ‘alive’.

Such Life I created before. But never before did I create actual souls with the capacity to choose between alternatives, and thus to, in turn, create. I conceived the possibility early, but I didn’t want to do it until my plans were complete; I felt that when I was ready to do it, I would not tolerate mistakes, because I would want souls which would live with me forever. After all, they would have Consciousness, as I do!

“The more I explored possibilities, the more I wanted to create them. But even though I was utterly alone, and even though now that I have your fellowship I could never think of making you cease to exist so that I would be lonely again, I want you to understand how it could be that I didn’t feel the longing of loneliness at the time.

“You see, consciousness can only desire what it can visualize. I made a worm with no more capacity than to visualize processing a speck of dirt for its food. Because it has no more capacity than that, it is just as happy, chewing dirt, as you are doing the happiest things you do. May that humble analogy help you understand that before I had visualized your fellowship, I was absolutely content without you. It wasn’t until I visualized you, and laid plans for every last tiny part of your souls and bodies, that I was overcome with anticipation until I had spoken you into existence!

VerseScout: Luke 12:49 I am come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled? 50 But I have a baptism to be baptized with; and how am I straitened till it be accomplished!

VerseScout Relevance Report: This verse confirms that God is able to anxiously anticipate a future event. But could the converse possibly be true, that there was a time before God anticipated the event?

Jesus continually challenged us to understand how God thinks by meditating on how humans think in various situations. Certainly human creativity is a process of letting a goal mature in one’s imagination over time, through concentration. Certainly one grasps one’s goal at the end of the process much more distinctly than at the beginning.

“I want you to understand another basic principle of consciousness.

“And by the way, don’t think I am talking about just My own personality, as I describe these characteristics of Consciousness. I am talking about the inescapable nature of Consciousness itself. These characteristics cannot be changed. I cannot create Consciousness by some other formula that escapes these features. The characteristics I want to explain to you are just the way Consciousness works; whether it is My own, or yours, or even Beelzebub’s.”

We looked with astonishment towards Beelzebub. He must have heard his name mentioned, because his head snapped towards God. There was an expression of curiosity, of openness, like we hadn’t seen since before his fall.

Behind his now uncharacteristically peaceful eyes we sensed a broken heart crying out for God’s Love, now seemingly lost forever. There was a minute of hesitation as Beelzebub, the Soul, actually debated whether to sit at God’s feet to learn the mystery He was about to unravel.

He was curious, yes. But did he really want the truth? And would he want it from God, even if he did want it? Presently his seething hatred took over and silenced the crying heart within. He had considered listening in the first place only because God’s kind mention of his name had taken him off guard. He sneered, mocking, and turned away.

* * * *

The last light of the warm sun melted away. A chill descended upon the land. Not enough for discomfort, but just enough to coax all earth’s creatures to snuggle up and prepare to sleep. But not before a last, long look at the drama unfolding overhead.

Stars. Bezillions. All colors. All sizes. Arranged to outline pictures that tell stories. Stories of creation and salvation.

God continued explaining the mechanics of how to wind up a universe.

God continued. “Rule Number One about the nature of consciousness is that Creativity costs.

“In that respect, it is like the energy I just created, which is not free, either.

Matter is absolutely limited, in that it neither creates more of itself, nor destroys any of itself, but rather matter, to be used for one purpose, must be taken from another purpose.

Consciousness is a little like that: at any given time, its attention is limited: so that if a concern taxes its capacity, it must leave other projects to attend to it.

The difference between Matter and Consciousness is that Consciousness can either grow, or atrophy.”

VerseScout: Matthew 25:14 For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. 15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. 16 Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents…. 19 After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. 20 And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. 21 His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. ….29 For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.

VerseScout Relevance Report: The fact that Jesus used this familiar story of human relationships to illustrate the nature of the Kingdom of God indicates that some of the characteristics of consciousness, which we experience, are shared with the inhabitants of Heaven. Notice how the capacity of consciousness grows. The more faithfully we take care of small responsibilities, the more large responsibilities we will be given, by God as well as by men. This is partly because being responsible proves we can be trusted; but in human experience it is also because we prove we have the capacity to do our job successfully. And we acquired that capacity by exercising the lesser capacity we had previously.

The nature of consciousness, having the capacity to grow, is so fundamental to the everyday experience of we who are made in the Image of God, and so fundamental to this Parable of the Kingdom of God, that Comunicus may not be so far from Biblical authority in reporting that the consciousness of God, too, grows – even God learns – and if it grows, that it was once “smaller” than it is now.

God explained, “Have you noticed the dependence of matter upon spirit? Have you noticed how matter is nourished by Spirit, as sheep graze upon the green pastures?

VerseScout: Ecclesiastes 1:14 I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.

VerseScout Relevance Report: (See note earlier, in Chapter 9)

Yes, we had noticed the incapacity of matter to do anything but just sit there doing nothing, before God pulled it apart to create tension.

For example, when God first created the earth, it was just, well, there. A lifeless, motionless clump, dark, shapeless. A giant puddle. No wind. No heat exchange from one area to another. No chemical reactions. Nothing.

God had to squeeze it until the middle melted. He had to separate the hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen to create water and air.

We were aware how delicate was its balance.

For example, we could see the magnetic field could not sustain itself, but would inevitably degenerate by 50% every 1600 years.

[Ed. Some scientists theorize that the magnetic field weakens, and then recovers its strength, (over millions of years) though without explaining how it could recover its strength. But the fact that it has weakened was even reported in the Des Moines Register, 12/14/03, “Magnetic field flip could cause disarray”. The article admitted that it has weakened by a whopping 10% just since 1845!]

At that rate, we figured it had 6, maybe 7,000 years before the ozone layer (ozone is created when Oxygen passes through a magnetic current) would break down to the point that human and animal life would suffer from ultraviolet rays from the sun.

But were the magnetic field stronger, it would have been too strong for Adam and Wo-man. For example, five more doublings of the field, so that the earth could last another 8,000 years before losing too much ozone, would have made the field so strong the elements would have melted!

Likewise the sun had a limited life, even after God compressed it and ignited it. Without further intervention, it was destined to burn away and shrink.

We saw that even electrons flying around their protons could not continue so forever, without another push from Spirit – from the dimensions beyond – but must eventually slow down, stop, and collapse.

Left alone by spirit, matter decays. It is subject to entropy.

[Ed: a word used in the First Law of Thermodynamics, describing how all creation tends to decay from the complex to the simple, like a wound up clock slowly winding down until it finally stops; or a physical body which begins as an incredibly complex matrix of cellular interactions, and ends, long after its death, as a pile of dirt.]

For example, water reacts with iron to form rust, but that only continues until there is either no more water or no more iron, and then the process stops. The sun gives heat and light to the planets, but that only continues until the atomic imbalance of the sun’s surface exhausts itself and the elements are able to reach equilibrium, and then the sun ‘dies’. The earth’s rotation exposes different areas of its surface to the sun’s heat in turn, causing seasons, day and night, hot and cold, mist and fair weather. But that only continues until the energy that requires finally slows the earth’s rotation to a standstill (or until the Sun goes out), and then all air and water movement ceases, and the life depending on them dies.

Left alone, matter would decay from complex relationships to simple forms, until its end would be a flat, lifeless mass of matter composed of inert elements, in such balance that there would be no longer any movement of energy from one heavenly body to another, or from one terrestrial form to another, or from one atom to another. No life, no light.

VerseScout: Romans 8:16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: 17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. 18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19 For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. 20 For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, 21 Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. 23 And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.

The nourishment of matter, so that it does not decay, requires an infusion of Life.”

VerseScout: John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 The same was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

Genesis 2:7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Deuteronomy 8:2 And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no. 3 And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live. 4 Thy raiment waxed not old upon thee, neither did thy foot swell, these forty years.

This Life must have energy greater than the inertia of Entropy, though this energy is not physical, but is Spirit. But Life consists of more than mere Spiritual energy. It consists also of Wisdom capable of directing Spiritual energy so that as it rearranges physical matter, the result is just the right tension.”

“Tension”, the demons had complained recently, was one of their sources of pain! “Why couldn’t God just leave them alone, and take off all the pressure of life?” they moaned! They didn’t want to have to “deal with” “problems”, they cried. They didn’t want to have to learn and grow. They just wanted to be “left alone” that they might sink into “peace” and “oblivion”!

God’s explanation touched on such foolishness, that we might better understand how to respond to it.

Tension is the engine of Life. Without tension, matter dies. Movement stops. Life stops. Knowledge stops. There is only death. Tension within the Sun causes it to send Light far and wide throughout the universe. The hearts of Adam and his wife create tension within their arteries and veins, forcing blood to flow so that it may nourish their bodies. The tension of water and sunshine, acting upon phosphorous, nourishes flowers so that they may open and give joy to all who see them.

“But of course oblivion is not possible for a conscious spirit, or soul. Matter degenerates towards flat, lifeless existence, but consciousness does not. What a terrible thing to pray for, that one’s life will cease, while one’s awareness continues!”

We thought of our fallen brothers actually blaming God for denying them this sorry condition! How can souls, with so much, appreciate so little?!

God continued explaining the mechanics of how to wind up a universe. “Simple Tension destroys, generally speaking; it is Intelligent Tension which creates and gives life. The simplest tension is an explosion which creates heat and light but which does so by consuming complex forms and leaving them simple. Accelerated entropy. The Sun, for example, consists of continuous explosions of the very simplest physical elements; none of the complex living things on Earth could live there. The fire which Adam and Wo-man started this evening to warm themselves exists by consuming complex living wood proteins and reducing it to light, heat, and relatively simple, and quite dead, ash; living wood is consumed in the fire, and any living thing which falls into it dies and similarly is reduced to simpler elements.

“The tension which creates, rather than destroys life, must be arranged with great wisdom.”

What an understatement! No angel had ever created life! Not even Beelzebub, in his glorious past, had ever created so much as a blade of grass! Even fallen angels could destroy life, however! Mere destruction took so little intelligence that even a human could do it! We who had not fallen also possessed the capacity to save, preserve, and heal life after it is created, but it was quite plain this capacity taxed our intelligence to its limit. And to be honest, even our “capacity” consists simply of channeling God’s healing power which does the work without us understanding how.

“An example would be the positioning of water so its collapse would create over 100 elements, before stretching out to become stars and galaxies. Had I not brought the water together at just the right moment it would still be water, rendered dead by entropy.

“By the same principle, I have given man physical bodies able to rearrange physical elements from dead, inert forms, using wisdom to place them in just the right tension to make many useful and wonderful things, and even turning them into energy sources.

“Wisdom is the intelligence to bring about a purpose. Wisdom, then, is the servant of purpose. Therefore the foundation for all good things is Love; for Love will choose purposes which are good, which Wisdom may serve.

Without love, therefore, life would not even exist; nor any good thing; but only entropy, and death. So without love, wisdom is moot; intelligence is moot.”

What amazing scenery God was showing us on our journey toward answering my question how any man could choose not to obey God!

God continued, “Choice is the engine of rejuvenation. By choosing My nourishment, matter is preserved, and will not decay.

But matter has no capacity for Choice.

“The foundation of Life is Tension, planned and arranged by Wisdom. The human genome, for example, and the billions of infinitesimal intelligent tensions it creates within each cell of the human body, directing energy so wonderfully and with results that have such specific consequences lasting for so many centuries, took the greatest wisdom of all you see before you. Nothing else in the whole universe compares in precision, beauty, and complexity.

“Especially when you consider the soul attached to the physical body. It was Man for whom I created the Universe, which is why I completed my design for man before I created anything else.

“It is not only Adam’s genomes, and those of Wo-man, which I have planned so carefully. When their seed unites, I will plan which of the possible combinations to bring together into a human being most suited to the circumstances into which it will be born. For that reason, when the time comes, I will warn Man how he must reverence his seed as holy, to be sown only as I guide him, that the circumstances of birth may favor a life of joy and love, and that I may have the best genetic material out of which to create such a body.

“Not that I could not create genetic material out of the air, but it is essential that both mother and father know their child came from them, because knowing that will help them love their baby.

“But nothing I have created matches the drama that is about to unfold, when the humans I have created will in turn begin to, in a sense, create independently of Me.

“I have created creativity!

“Until now you have seen plants and animals with their seed in them, so that they might reproduce themselves. Now you will see that I have planted a seed of Myself!”

What? How -? For a moment I was tempted to correct God! “No, God, you can’t mean that when the man matures he will become exactly like You!” I started to protest in my mind. But I quickly remembered my ignorance and God’s omniscience, and leaned back to listen.

“You see an acorn on the ground and do not recognize the image of the majestic oak tree. But that’s what it grows into. Likewise you look at a man and do not realize of Whom he is the seed.

“However, there is this difference between an acorn as the seed of an oak, and a man as the seed of myself: the oak grows to its full height and grows no further, while the seed grows alongside until it becomes its equal. Eventually the oak is destined to die, to be replaced by its own seeds. However, in My case, I do not stop growing, and I will not die. My seed can never, therefore, reach my ‘height’.”

God looked around at our stupefied faces. God had an excitement He was bursting to share, but we were a little too dense to take in this new panorama. So God stooped down a little more, to reach our level, with words we could not fail to grasp: “I am going to have Children!”

VerseScout: Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Hebrews 2:10 For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings.

1 Corinthians 2:9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

John 14:12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.

You might have thought that would be cause for rejoicing! But some things are just too wonderful for praise. So it was this time. This was not a time for shouting, or clapping, or singing, or Hallelujahing. It was a time for awe. A time for wonder at something beyond comprehension. A time for reverence.

Then there was the question, still unanswered, and growing by the minute: how, then, was it possible that a human could ever not want to obey God? Especially when a human is made in the image of God?!

God gave me a look that said “I haven’t forgotten the question. Do you think you can follow the answer?”

God continued speaking out loud, “Consciousness is subject to something a little bit like entropy. Physical matter is inescapably bound to entropy, maintaining complex interactions only by the intervention of Spirit. Consciousness is not inescapably bound to entropy, because it can choose. But the path of least resistance, for Consciousness, is to degenerate; to do nothing; to coast; to be aware only of self.

Only Love can motivate Consciousness to soar beyond its own fences, to interact with the rest of Creation. But Consciousness is not naturally inclined to Love. There can be no Joy without love, but consciousness does not innately seek Joy. Consciousness does not instinctively crave happiness, friendship, achievement, or excitement. Consciousness, without love, is utterly subject to a condition similar to entropy: (except that Spirit can, by choosing Love, rejuvenate) it degenerates, its thought processes becoming simpler and simpler until they flatten out into spiritual death.”

VerseScout: (See Romans 8:16-23, above)

“I can say it more directly: both consciousness and matter are subject to death. Matter can be saved from death only by the intervention of consciousness. But Consciousness too is subject to death, and can be delivered from it only by the intervention of Love.”

VerseScout: 1 John 2:15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

VerseScout Relevance Report: A theme throughout Scripture is our choice between Love, personified by God, which is equated with Eternal Life, and the World, which leads to death. This passage describes the choice as between the “lust” of the flesh which passes away, and obedience to God who leads us to eternity.

This describes our everyday experience: we humans whose souls are attached to bodies find that when our creativity coasts, our souls relax in apathy, so that the desires of our bodies rise in relative dominance, so that satisfying our bodies becomes our path of least resistance.

We have a glimpse of how Consciousness must behave without attached bodies, from our experience with apathy even when all our physical desires are satisfied.

In this case our “path of least resistance” becomes our concern only with ourselves; but if we are concerned only with ourselves, and our own desires are satisfied, then there is nothing needing doing; our minds coast into inactivity, the ultimate form of which is Death.

From this condition, only Love can deliver us. Only Love can occupy our minds after our own needs are satisfied. Through Love, through the motivation to serve others, there is no limit to the challenges before us.

We were astonished. We hadn’t really thought about it, but it fit our experience. We already had experience with matter, where natural forces collided destructively until we intervened to restore the original created tension; and the reason we intervened was because of our love for God’s intended plan, not because it personally did anything for us.

“Love pressures Consciousness to sacrifice its own self, which is not its path of least resistance. It pressures Consciousness to take its attention off its self in order to focus it on things or souls outside itself. ‘Self Discipline’ is required, to Love. Even My Own consciousness would be naturally subject to spiritual entropy (death), but for Love.”

VerseScout: Matthew 19:27 Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore? 28 And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. 30 But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first. (See also Mark 10:28)

VerseScout Relevance Report: These verses confirm the necessity of “denying self”; that is, of giving attention to needs other than one’s own, at the expense of one’s own. Notice that the boldfaced words are a list of physical delights and relationships that we may be required to deny. These are examples of the “desires of the flesh” spoken of in Romans 7:18-8:13.

Not that our flesh has any power of choice, but while our souls are attached to our bodies, pleasing our bodies is the path of least resistance for our souls.

Indeed, many sins involve a conflict between flesh and spirit: between some desire for physical delight, and some spiritual reason for avoiding or giving up that delight.

Of course, God does not have a body subject to hunger and other pain, as we do, yet this Diary says Consciousness itself, even God’s consciousness, must somehow deny self, must reach out to other’s needs contrary to one’s own, in order to keep from “dying”, or receding into inaction, or suffering “entropy”.

If this is true, then quite literally, just as Jesus said in Matthew 16:25, the only way we can “save” ourselves is to “lose” ourselves; in other words, the only way our consciousness can keep from dying is to reach out to love and bless others.

Every decision for the easy way, against the Love which God embodies, hardens the heart, forcing the heart to call God, and all things good, the enemy! This heart-hardening eventually leads to desires, not merely for the easy way, or for the flesh, but specifically to oppose God. Since God desires for us everything good, this leads to crime, to destruction, and death – to everything actually opposed to physical comfort.

For example, sex can be quite wonderful, done God’s way; but done in rebellion against God, it leads typically to the cruelest tortures OF ONESELF – the most disease-causing filth, the most inhuman humiliations OF ONESELF! Therefore, to seek the easy way, which is to favor the physical body, is to ultimately destroy even that same physical body along with everything else good.

I looked again at our fallen brothers, and began to understand. Entropy, the road to Oblivion, Apathy, Laziness, Lack of discipline, Disobedience. All names for the most natural impulse of Consciousness. Only Love makes obedience possible. Love is the only hope of life!

Chapter Twenty Two: How Consciousness Dies

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