Hitler’s Undocumented Economist Solution

There is a classic scene from the movie “Downfall”, about Hitler’s last days in an underground bunker, that has been pirated to add different English subtitles to, usually with very funny results. I found the website where you can do that. I did that. 

Here is the resulting video, and below that, the transcript:

Officer: We’re rounding up all economists even now. We’re sending them to a work camp close to Berlin. They will be gone by the first immigration hearing. They won’t be telling Congress the benefits of immigration.

(Originally published April 22, 2015 at CafeConLecheRepublicans.com)

Hitler: You have scheduled Undocumented Economists for the hearings?

Officer: Not an economics degree among them. One has a degree in Political Science.

Second officer: Another has a degree in Bulgarian history.

Officer: They believe immigrants are as good for the land as Ebola.

Hitler: So much damage has already been done. Anyone here who can add three numbers, leave the room.

I have the perfect immigration policy. I want to end illegal immigration yesterday. I support legal immigration, subject to a quota of minus 20 million. I want to send the rest back by catapult.

Knowing how to add confuses people. Economists say immigrants improve jobs and wages. Of 39 expert witnesses in 2013 immigration hearings, two were economists.

Officer: The Jew that did that was slow roasted.

Hitler: Do you know what their testimony did to senators?

Officer: We are having economics students shot.

Hitler: The problem is that economists mostly agree about immigration. Their range of disagreement is small. They say more legal immigration leads to better jobs and wages. It lowers our deficit and raises our technology.

Germany needs clueless Undocumented Economists. We can’t control the immigrant population until we control the economist population. Congressmen must not talk to anyone who knows calculus. Calculus is the greatest threat to a final immigration solution.

The hope of Germany is patriots like you who can’t add. Adding starts the slippery slope down to Calculus Hell.

I want every calculator crushed. Every abacus. Every pencil.

What is the attraction of intelligence? It threatens all we are trying to do!

Where will support come from for driving out every last immigrant if word gets out that restrictionists never cared enough about understanding economics to make that their major in college?

One woman to a second, weeping woman overhearing in the hallway: I am SO sorry I showed you how to do the times tables last week.

Hitler, subdued: I am ashamed to admit I once took geometry. I swallowed erasers until it was forgotten so I could solve immigration. I want erasers on every school lunch menu.

If intelligence can be brought under control we can do this. We can finally purify the land of all her immigrants and all their benefits to us. We can restore the Rule of Law. Especially the Rule of Stupid Law.

We can kick the rose bushes barefoot. No one will be educated enough to suspect.


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